Giving Thanks

I heard a fantastic quote about human beings the other day:

we are clever, but we forget. 

That's exactly what we do. As a species, we figured out how the planets move around the sun, but I still ask for the date in class. As Americans, we live in a country with plenty of available food and shelter, plus resources for the sick. And yet, we need a day to remember that we are fortunate. 

We need a day to remember that things were not always like this.

To remember that tomorrow is never promised to anyone. 

To remember that many don't live like we do even now. 

To remember that what we have is a gift.

To remember who to thank. 

This is a different sunset, same feeling.

I remember I was driving home from UHMC one day, and there was an absolutely stunning sunset. I mean, this was on Maui, so many sunsets are stunning. It's almost normal to see something postcard-worthy on your drive home, and then to complain about the traffic. But I have always been a huge fan of sunsets, and this one was impressive. I remember saying to myself, "I'm glad I have a God, because I have someone to thank for this." 

Another time, I was watching two little girls at sunset, so we watched all the clouds change colors. 

And there are countless sunsets I missed, that I wasn't grateful for. 

If you aren't religious, that's not the entire point of this post, and I do respect your position. Still, for me, I need to remember that I say I believe there is an actual Person listening to me and who wants to talk with me. If I say I believe in a God that wants to talk with me, who loves me, and who longs to be loved by me as well, and I say I do love Him, perhaps I should spend a little more time every day thanking Him. I mean, seriously. 

This also applies to my parents, to friends, to teachers, to everyone who has given to me in a way I can't pay back. 

I can't paint God a sunset. 

But... I can say "thank you." I can mean it, and I need to do so. That's what I believe in. 

And when I forget, and finals/final papers are looming, things aren't going the way I wish they were, I have a day to remember to say "Thank You."

10 of My Favorite Movie Quotes (and My All-Time Favorite)

THIS POST ABSOLUTELY CONTAINS SPOILERS AND IS NOT COMPREHENSIVE OF ALL MY FAVORITE MOVIE QUOTES. PART TWO WILL COME EVENTUALLY.

The title is pretty self-explanatory, but I want to mention that I'm not going to post the "Top Ten Quotes of All Time" list. Someone, somewhere, has written that list. These are just quotes from films that I can't get out of my head.
Stories that won't leave once you've heard them.
Moments we live in our real lives.
Most of them dangerously funny.

10. "And that's why papa says she'll never get married."
-Zipporah's sister, after she drops Moses (back) into the well (The Prince of Egypt).

The best part of this quote is that Zipporah and Moses get married. This quote gives me reassurance that I don't have to be the compliant quiet mousey girl to find someone to spend my life with. I can be Sassy Zipporah (that's just how I roll) and I will be all g. 

9. "I can see you managed to get your shirt off."

- Dr. Lazarus, as Captain Taggart is being chased by a giant rock monster (GalaxyQuest). 

On the one hand, we all have those friends who need to show off their bodies 100000% of the time. On the other hand, we have those friends who just can't let go of their personal problems with other people long enough to be helpful. Either way, this scene is perfect. 

8. "To despair is to turn your back on God." 

- Marilla, after telling Anne she cannot stay at Green Gables (Anne of Green Gables).

In context, this might be the worst thing Marilla could have said, but for me, that line is a short summary of my faith. Having despaired, I can say I had turned my back on God. Having kept my face to Him, I haven't despaired again. I'd say Marilla was right. Also, it's a beautiful contrast to Anne's moments of falling into "the depths of despair," and how as her faith grows -- and she matures -- that phrase disappears. She stops falling that low, even in her darkest hours. 

7. "Who said life is fair? Where is that written?"

- Grandpa, to grandson (The Princess Bride)

Grandpa is king of spoiling-without-spoiling. If you remember this scene, he tells his grandson all about the ending without giving it away. Also, life isn't fair. Sometimes, it's not fair against us, and sometimes, life being unfair is our greatest advantage.

6. "Fight! Win! And do come back soon; I enjoy our visits."

- Edna Mode, to Helen Parr (The Incredibles)

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! 

5. "What do you mean he don't eat no meat? Oh that's okay, that's okay, I make lamb."

- Aunt Voula, on finding out Toula's fiance Ian is a vegetarian. 

The dignity! 

This entire movie is one giant quotable mess, but this might be my favorite Voula line, just because it's so not okay. I have IBS, so whenever my it is flaring up really badly and I say I can't eat something, this scene re-enacts. Or someone forgets I'm lactose intolerant and I don't have lactase pills on me. I quote this and comfort myself. 

4. "Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led. And, of course, the quality of the pancakes."

- Dr. Hilbert, explaining to Harold why someone might choose to eat nothing but pancakes instead of choosing to live. (Stranger than Fiction).

When I quote this in real life, I almost never get it right. However, it's a great point. How good is your life? How good are the pancakes? What are you willing to change? 

3. "Everybody's got dead people!" 

- Rocket, to Drax (Guardians of the Galaxy)

I scream this at my TV when characters blame their problems on their dead relatives. But, it's true. We've all got dead people. We all miss someone. Live a little kinder (which was absolutely not Rocket's point) and remember that, while we have a right and need to grieve, we can't justify destroying other people's lives just because we are in pain (which was Rocket's point). 

2. "No, that's a simile."

- Fellow students arguing over the finer points of grammar while Madeline experiences a medical emergency. 

That's how kids are. That's how we all get. We want to be right and we miss the important stuff. Also, this scene is a perfect three-part joke. 

1. "There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."

- Samwise Gamgee to Frodo Baggins (Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers)

My mom once preached an entire sermon on how everybody needs a Sam, and she was right. We all need a Sam in our lives. 

BONUS: "He must have known was he was doing." 

- Susan to Lucy, when Aslan has been killed on the Stone Table (The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe)

This is my favorite scene in any movie. Susan is holding onto her only hope and comfort when all hope is gone: Aslan knew what he was doing. She, who has tried to be the parent figure for so long, has to step up and be the person Lucy has to depend on. And what does she say? Not that it will be alright. Not that it makes sense. Just that Aslan knew what he was doing. And he did... but Susan just had to trust that she was right, and that even when the world made no sense, Aslan was still the King. 

Learning to Love Little You

Inside all of us, we are everyone we used to be.

There's five-year-old Heidi who sits in a room in my Mind Palace with fifteen-year-old Heidi. And that's okay. 

I'm learning to love my young self.

Oh my gosh, but she did have good hair.

She wasn't happy, to be honest. My child-self suffered.
All of us have pain our child-self lived with, and lived through.

Sometimes, our child-self tries to grab the steering wheel when we start driving toward something that hurt us in the past. It does everything it can to avoid pain, even when the pain is important for our current self to go through.
Our child-self decided what to fear.
Our child-self decided what hurts.

I was a cabbage patch doll

It's important to respect and understand that self's decisions, and then to do what needs to be done anyway. I'm learning how important it is for me to gently take my child-self's hands off the steering wheel, hold her tight, and make sure she know that Current Self is going to do all she can to take care of all of us.
I need to acknowledge the little girl who is scared of the dark.

And...
I need to acknowledge the little girl that still wants to play. The one who has the imagination to find an adventure in every moment of every day. There's a child in there. She's innocent, she's naive, she just wants to be safe and loved. I can't go back in time and tell my parents, or pastors, or friends what to fix. I get to be the one who loves and protects those younger selves. And I need to be the adult. The version of me that knows the child-self will be okay gets to call the shots.

The fact of the matter is, I get to choose who drives. 

Maybe five-year-old self does understand the beauty of a butterfly more than I do. She should be the one who looks at beautiful things. There's not a chance in childhood to fill up your heart with enough beauty, so I'm going to show my child-self all the beautiful things I see. I might have the understanding of Fall leaves that a twenty-year-old has, but I can have the wonder of a five-year-old.

Early-teen-self is not allowed to talk when I'm sad. She's reckless, impulsive, destructive, and I don't need her anywhere near driving. However, she feels deeply and honestly. Let's be honest, twenty-year-old self has the mechanics, techniques, and language to write poetry and songs, but early-teen-self has the pain to inspire a song. 

I guess I'm learning that growing up isn't to just turn from one thing into another, it's to outgrow an old self and preserve their memory in my body and heart, knowing that I had a heart then, and that heart beats inside mine now. 

It's okay that sometimes I feel like I'm ten. 

It's okay to be a grown-up. 

Long live the child in me.